Yesterday, I cooked a recipe that each of them chose from each book. It took me all day. I will repeat that. It took me all. Fucking. Day. Plus there was a trip to the grocery store. And it wasn't even a special occasion. A four course meal for no special reason? Pin that Mom of the Year medal on me bitches because I totally won this year.
But! Not only am I the best mom in the world, I am also the best friend in the world. When I posted about my awesome cookbooks on Facebook, my friend Johnna asked to share some recipes. So, because I am awesome and so is Johnna, I will post my menu from last night. Rest assured that I tested all of these recipes and they got the In Sickness
Course one - Elf Fruit Dip from The Fantasy Cookbook
1 cup sour cream
2 tsp. vanilla brandy
3 to 4 tbsp. honey
Mix all ingredients.
I didn't have vanilla brandy and the grocery store didn't carry it. Since I don't love my kids enough to make a special stop, I used vanilla extract instead and it was fine. I served a dollop on top of a fruit salad as course one.
Course two - Prim's Sweet Goat Cheese Salad from The Hunger Games Coookbook
3 cups romaine lettuce
1/2 cup fresh blueberries
1/2 cup fresh respberries
1/4 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup sunflower seeds
1/4 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup crumbled goat cheese
1/4 cup while balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup olive oil
Sea salt to taste.
Toss the lettuce, berries, nuts, seeds and cheese in a large bowl. Pour the vinegar, syrup and oil over salad and toss until coated.
But that's not what I did. I tossed the salad and then combined the vinegar, syrup and oil in a Tupperware container. I shook the dressing and poured it over each serving. Also, I didn't have white balsamic vinegar so I used just regular balsamic vinegar and it was just divine. I mean really, I will make this salad again and again and again only I won't include the fresh fruit because I am weird and I don't like fruit. Also, make sure you use real maple syrup. I don't know what that table syrup shit would taste like in this recipe. Probably gross because table syrup? Ew.
Course three - Chicken Lyonnaise and Chateau Potatoes from Last Dinner on the Titanic and Carrots Unicorn from The Fantasy Cookbook
Chicken Lyonnaise
1/3 cup all purpose flour
2 tbsp chopped fresh thyme (or 1 tbsp dried)
1/2 tsp each salt and pepper
6 boneless chicken breasts
1 egg, beaten (poor egg, what did it ever do to you!)
3 tbsp vegetable oil
2 onions, thinly sliced
1 clove garlic, minced
1/3 cup white wine
1 cup chicken stock
2 tsp tomato paste
Pinch granulated sugar
In a sturdy plastic bag, shake together flour, 1 tbsp of the thyme or 1 1/2 tsp if using dried, sal and pepper. One at a time, dip the chicken breasts into egg and then shake in flour mixture.
In large deep skillet, heat 2 tbsp of the oil over medium-high heat. Place chiken in pan, skin side down. Cook, turning once, for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from skillet and place in 225F oven.
Reduce heat to medium; add remaining oil to skillet. Stir in onions, garlic and remaining thyme: cook, stirring often, for 5 minutes or until onions are translucent. Increase heat to medium-high and continue to cook onions, stirring often, for 5 minutes or until golden brown.
Add wine to pan; cook, stirring to scrape up any brown bits, for about 1 minute or until reduced by half. Stir in stock, tomato paste and sugar. Boil for 2 minutes or until beginning to thicken. Return chicken to pan, turning to coat, and cook for 5 minutes or until juices run clear.
So - I pretty much followed the recipe except I didn't have any wine and I still don't love my kids enough to make a special stop so I substituted white grape juice. I also didn't have any skin on chicken breasts (which, I think the author was fucking with me because can you even get boneless chicken breasts with the skin on?) so I used boneless skinless. Next time, and there will be a next time because this was both really good and easy to make, I will use just regular chicken breasts with the bone and skin.
Chateau Potatoes
6 Medium potatoes
2 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
1/2 tsp each salt and pepper
Peel potatoes; using a turning knife, cut into eight-sided shapes (alternatively, cut into thick, even shaped wedges). Meanwhile, place butter, oil and rosemary in large, rimmed baking sheet. Set pan in 425F oven for 2 to 3 minutes or until butter is sizzling.
Pat potatoes dry; place in heated pan and stir to coat with butter mixture Bake in 425F oven, stirring occasionally; for 35 too 40 minutes or until potatoes are golden brown. Season with salt and pepper.
I sill don't love my kids enough to cut the potatoes into eight-sided shapes, which are supposed to look like this but if I did it they would probably end up like this, so I just bought some small red potatoes and cut them in half. Also, I didn't have fresh rosemary (other than, you know, Kid4 who can be kind of fresh sometimes) so I used 1/2 tbsp crushed dried rosemary. Also, I only had salted butter and it was just fine. These were easy and really, really good.
Carrots Unicorn
1 1/2 tbsp butter or oil
2 1/3 cups sliced carrots
1/4 tsp mace or 1/2 tsp nutmet
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp vegesal or salt
4 tbsp raisins
1/3 cup pineapple chunks
1/2 cup unpeeled, chopped apple
1/8 cup tooasted cashews
In a pan, saute carrots in butter or oil for 3 to 4 minutes. Add the spices. Cover and cook over low heat until carrots are crunchy yet tender. When they are ready, add the fruit and nuts and just heat through.
I have made this many times because it's so easy and really good. But, I cook the carrots until they are browned slightly because I do and fuck you if you think that's wrong. Also, I add both mace and nutmeg (but only 1/4 tsp because too much nutmeg is not a good thing) and don't use allspice. This time, I added some dried cranberries since I had them anyway for the salad. And I forgot the cashews which was a bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand, they really add to the dish and it wasn't right without them. On the other hand, I didn't have to share my cashews with anyone and they are now sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for me (and only me) to eat. In fact, I think I'll have a handful right now.
Dessert - Custard Sponge Sandwich (from Hagrid) from the Harry Potter Cookbook
Sponge Cake
1 1/2 cups all-purpose four
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 sticks butter, at room temperature
3 large eggs, at room temperature
Confectioners' sugar, for dusting
Custard Filling
1 cup while milk plus 1/2 cup heavy cream or 1 1/2 cups whole milk
1/4 cup granulated sugar, divided
3 tbsp cornstarch
Pinch salt
3 large egg yolks
1/2 tsp pule vanilla extract
1 tbsp butter (in not using heavy cream)
Whipped Cream for serving.
Preheat the oven to 350F. Crease two 8-inch cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper. Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt in a mixing bowl and set aside.
Using an electric mixer, beat the utter and sugar in a large bowl until light and fluffy, scraping down the side of the bowl as needed, about 5 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, beating after each until incorporated and scraping down the sides as needed. Add the flour mixture and mic on the slowest speed until combined. Finish by scraping down and folding the bater together with a rubber spatula.
Divide the batter even between the two pans and bake for about 20 minutes until the cakes are golden brown around the edges 0 the tops of the cakes will be pale - and the cakes feel soft but set when touched lightly in the centre of a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean. Let the cakes cool in the pans for 10 minutes, then invert onto a wire rack and cool completely.
To make the custard, combine the milk or milk and heavy cream, t tbsp of the sugar, cornstarch and salt in a small saucepan and mix until the cornstarch is dissolved. Whisk the yolks with the remaining 2 tbsp in a medium bowl until smooth.
Heat the milk mixture over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until it is hot but not bubbling. Reduce the heat to low. Pour 1/2 cup of the hot mixture in a slow stream into the egg yolk mixture while whisking quickly to temper the egg yolks. Pour the egg yolk mixture slowly back into the saucepan while stirring constantly. Return the pan to medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture thickens and begins to boil. (Once the mixture begins to thicken, it must be handled gently so the cornstarch won't lost its thickening power.)
Remove the pan from the heat and add the vanilla. Add butter if you did not use heavy cream. Stir gently until the butter is melted and combined. Strain the custard through a sieve into a bowl to ensure a smooth custard. (Use a rubber spatula to push the custard through the sieve.) Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until cold.
To assemble the cake, place on cake layer top-side down on a cardboard round. Spread the custard over the cake until withing 1/2 inch of the border. Top with the other cake layer, top-side up. Dust the top of the cake generously with the confectioners' sugar. Keep refrigerated, but bring to room temperature before serving. Serve with whipped cream and have it with tea.
So, I didn't take my eggs out of the fridge before using them so they weren't at room temperature. And I thought I had cornstarch but I didn't and, if you're following the theme you'll have figured it out by now, I don't love my kids enough to make a special trip just for cornstarch so I used flour. And we didn't drink tea with it but it was still really good.
So that was our special dinner. I'm trying to decide if I love my kids enough to do it again.
BONUS NEXT COOKBOOK I'M BUYING
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