Why I am the best mom in the world (also, my kid is really smart).

Kid1's birthday was in November.  She loves Final Fantasy.  A new Final Fantasy game came out Jan. 31st.  In November, I told her I was going to get it for her for her birthday.  On January 31st, I showed up at the mall at 9:30.  The stores didn't open until 10:00.  I wanted to be there to make sure that I got a copy.  So I took kid4 to the mall (which is my own personal hell... I hate the mall) a half hour before it opened and waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.

Me: "Ugh! I'm tired of this."
Kid4: "No kidding right? Let's blow this pop stand and go do something crazy!"
Me: "I can't. I have to get the game for kid1."
Kid4: "You love her more than me, don't you."
Me: "Yes."

So we get tired of waiting and ten minutes before the store opens we go for a walk. It takes us five minutes to walk around and get back to the store.

Me: "Blah. That only took us five minutes."
Kid4(who just turned six): "That means we still have to wait for five minutes."
Me: "How did you figure that out?"
Kid4 (with a look that says I'm the dumbest woman to ever walk the planet): "5 plus 5 is 10."
Me: "So if it took us 7 minutes, how long would we have to wait?"
Kid4: "What, are you some kind of fucking moron? Three."

Then the store opens and there are four of us waiting to go in.  But, because kid4 is small, she gets in line first.  Awesome!

Me: "How much is it?"
Store Employee: "A lot."
Me: "Look, I was here a half hour before the mall opened to get a game that I'm not going to play. Don't fuck with me and just tell me."
Store Employee: "Sixty dollars."

Kid1 was then the proud owned of Final Fantasy XIII-2.  And I am the best. mom. ever.


BONUS MY KIDS ARE ALL GEEKS
Kid2 discovered Harry Potter this Christmas.  Since then, the kids have talked about nothing that isn't Harry Potter related.  Yesterday they were playing a hybrid Star Wars/Harry Potter/Final Fantasy XIII game. I've never been more proud!

I'm Back (and better than ever?)

I have to tell you, the Christmas season sucked the life right out of me this year.  I took a vacation from the computer.  It was more of a forced vacation.  I had so much shit to do and would never have gotten anything done had I even glanced online.  You know how it is, you go on to Facebook to see what everyone's up to and three hours later you're still on computer with 50 different tabs open looking up android porn.  But I digress.

Last weekend, we installed one of these bad boys on the side door and I fucking love it!

Now I feel like I'm entering some sort of top secret spy heaquarters whenever I come home.  Not only do I no longer have to worry about Kid1 forgetting her key and locking all four of them out of the house after school, but I get the added bonus feeling like I'm important enough to require extra security measures to keep me safe.

I can only imagine what a burglar would be thinking when he ('cause all burglars are guys, right?) sees the lock.

"Score! This house must have some pretty nice shit to need a lock like that!" Waits until we are all out to break the kitchen window.  "Damn, this people are practically living below the poverty line.  I mean, why the fuck do they need a cool lock like that?  They don't even have a flat panel TV!  Fuck this shit, I'm out of here."

(In case you didn't get the point of this post, I really think our new lock is nifty.)

BONUS RENOVATION STORY:

2012 is the year I finally get this house looking like I live here and not some little old lady.  I feel like I have been living in someone else's house for the last almost four years.  So far, I have painted the hallway (which I think is pretty fucking spectacular since it's not even the end of the first month).  At the end of the hall, I put a nice print of a picture similar to this one.

Kevin and I are drawn to pictures of paths. But, the end of the path can't be shown in the picture.  We were looking at the print and talking about why we like them so much and we came to the conclusion that our life is so shitty that we like looking down a path because there has to be something better at the end of it.  We're either the biggest pessimists in the world or just really insightful.  Or both.